For starters, you BOTH have thousands in the bank. I can't give any legal advice, not being a lawyer and not knowing Wa. Divorce laws. All I can do is offer some support from one mom to another that has dealt with a similar situation. There are many paths you can take, most of which aren't too pleasant at first but once you are on your own, you'll see that the sacrifice was worth it. You are a person of value, don't let him tell you otherwise.

I don't know your complete situation, but he is abusing you. It is mental abuse and you don't have to put up with it. Your babies don't need to grow up in this situation. I have 7 children and they grew up like this, with their dad mentally abusing me. I took it for years because I thought the kids needed a father. What they grew up learning from this is that if you're male, you can treat people like this and get away with it, and if you're a woman, you have to take it. So it's really in their best interest to have a mommy who has her wits about her and who can think clearly and for herself. Your babies will love you more in the long run for being a strong woman who stood up for herself and her children.

Have you spoken to anyone at DSHS to ask what your options might be? If not , ask to speak to a worker and explain your situation . Tell them that you aren't applying yet because you don't want anything sent to your home, but you need some help and don't know where to go from here. There has to be something that someone can do to help you until you get on your feet. They might be able to get you temporary housing and some assistance.

I also recommend a restraining order. I don't know what washington law says, but I know in California, the day I filed the papers, there was an automatic restraining order put into place regarding the sale of ANY item owned until the divorce decree was taken care of .

If you are on low income assistance, I would imagine divorce should be either free or very very inexpensive. Get all your ducks in a row. It's good you're putting some money aside, every little bit will help, but also start a journal that you can keep in a safe place or maybe even at a friend's house. Detail your entire marriage , everything he does to control you , all the breakups and the reasons behind them, etc.

No one wants to be on assisstance of any kind, but that's what it's there for, to assist you until you get on your feet. Make a game plan as to what you want to do with your life , go to work, go back to school, etc. Goals are what keep us going through the rough times. You can do this, you have taken a big step already , just posting this  and I have faith that you can get through the rest. You have 2 people who are looking up to you to do the right thing, for them and for you.

It will be rough at first and you may have to give up some things, but in the long run , you'll be better for it.

Another thing you might want to do is take pictures of everything in your house. If it's furniture, take pics of the kids sitting on it to show that it's yours . Have them stand or play next to the TV , large applances, etc. If your camera has a date on it, make sure it's on so it will show up in the pictures. You are entitled to half of it, or half of the value. If you leave , he could pull something sneaky and sell everything. The car is half yours too, even though it's in his name. I got this from a website :  ~~~In Washington, husband and wife are a "marital community" and, once married, the earnings of each are "community property." Under this system, all property acquired from earnings during marriage (such as real estate, automobiles or household goods) belongs equally to husband and wife, even when only one is employed.~~~~~

As far as the bank account goes, if you don't know it, get the account number . If he tries to pull a swift one and take all the money out of the account  when you leave, there will be records of it.

Best of luck to you. Hope you get to read this, I know it's been a couple of  weeks since you posted. Remember that you can do this.

Robi